***Past blog about my work/school load before nursing
EXHAUSTION IS A 19HR DAY WHEN YOU COME HOME AND COLLAPSE...AND YOU DON'T RECALL THE DRIVE HOME BECAUSE THE TIME WAS CONSUMED OF THOUGHTS OF THINGS YOU'VE DONE, WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. IN A 19HOUR DAY I WORK AND SOMETIMES FEEL I AM GOING SOMEWHERE. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM NO LONGER 19 AND CAN'T DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I'M NOT MUCH OLDER...BUT I FEEL SOMETIMES I AM. I FEEL LIKE LIFE WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THIS TO GET SOMEWHERE. TO GET SOMEWHERE I'M MEANING A CAREER WHERE I CAN LIVE AND NOT HAVE TO REALLY WORRY ABOUT MONEY BECAUSE I MAKE WHAT I AM WORTH. I MEAN TO GET SOMEWHERE WITH A DEGREE AND BE TRULY HAPPY/CONTENT WITH MY JOB. TO NOT HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME, ATTEND CLASSES FULL TIME, AND RATION THE REST OF MY TIME FOR HOMEWORK, SLEEP, IF I EAT THAT DAY DRAINING THE STRENGTH OF MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IN A WAY THAT COULD SERIOUSLY HOSPITALIZED ME. FINDING THE EXTRA MINUTES TO MAKE SURE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY KNOW THAT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND THINK ABOUT THEM BUT HAVE TO BE WORKING SO HARD THAT THERE IS NO TIME TO CALL? I NOW CARRY MY PHONE ON ME MOST TIMES TO TEXT WHEN I GET THE CHANCE. LAME RIGHT? WHY DO THAT TO YOURSELF? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T SEE ANYWAY TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT HAVING TO WORK THIS HARD. THERE ARE BILLS TO PAY AND SCHOOL FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT AN OPTION. IF I WANT THAT NURSING DEGREE I HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING ON. THE FIREFIGHTER THOUGH CLINGS ON TO THE BACK OF MY MIND FOR DEAR LIFE...AND I RATION AGAINST IT. A MARRIAGE AND A LIFE WILL BE ENOUGH WORK WITH A HUSBAND WHO IS A POLICE OFFICER...WITHOUT ADDING THE MOM OR WIFE WHO WILL BE HOME EVERY OTHER NIGHT...SO I KEEP ON PRESSING ON AND TRY NOT TO GET DISCOURAGED OR UNMOTIVATED... I KEEP IN MIND THAT GOD WON'T HAND ME ANYTHING I CAN'T HANDLE (THX RE) AND KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON.
1 comment:
First, your damn font is too small for my eyes to read without going blind!! Nonetheless I read it .. ha ha.
I think you get out of life what you put in and therefore in "theory" this will all pay off and bring great things to your life; however, having said that, I had my degree for many moons before I was paid what I was "worth" because then an entire new line of BS comes into play about one thing or another. So its for sure not a fix all (not that you said it was but I am just sayin ...)
Keep the same career and goal path but be careful too not set the degree up to make things right ... life is NOW not in 3, 4 or 10 years. God doesn't promise us any certain amount of time so please make sure you are truly spening your time doing what is right for your marriage and family and mental health!!
PS - if you truly want to be a fire fighter then now is the time to do it. You don't have kids yet and you two aren't planning on any for awhile ... your nursing degree will be ready to pick up right where you left it if you should decide to pursue it once a family comes into play and even still working parents are working parents. Don't (I hesitate to use the word "waste") waste a degree, time and money on a degree that in the end you decide you would be much happier fightin fires! Know what I mean Joe?
Post a Comment