For me...I didn't always wish to be a nurse. As early as I can remember I wanted to be a lawyer, a vet, a wedding planner, a florist, a hair stylist... Then in high school one afternoon I sat in my counselors office at a crossroad. I couldn't decide if I wanted to do on the job training my senior year at the early childhood center or go to EMT classes... When I told my counselor I wasn't sure...She immediately said "EMT" and I agreed. I adored her, she was my volleyball coach, a kind ear that always listened and thought so much of me that in 2001 she nominated me for an award in Anchorage... It was a young woman achievement award. I didn't win, but the nomination meant just as much to me.
I went on my way not knowing what I was getting myself into. Started EMT class right away and loved it. Honestly, I was fascinated by a not so normal career, the rush of trauma, love from the community for being in such a role and learned that I loved nothing more than hauling ass to a fire...Then came the firefighter academy. I was set. I never felt so important to do anything in my life. I loved the job, I loved the people I worked with, I loved the patient care. I not so much loved the "on call" aspect, being sleep deprived and picking up drunks on the Alaska high way in freezing temps. So the most logical thing to me was to carry on in medicine...but in the warm comfort of a hospital and so the venture for becoming an RN began. And holly shit what a venture.
I worked my ass off for at least 4 years doing prereq's and not just doing them, but achieving a 4.0 every minute I could because I was told nursing schools would evaluate me on my GPA. Well taking classes, working full time, buying a house, planning a wedding AND getting a new puppy might not have been the best start... I did it. I got migraines. I was like damn, I should have just stayed an EMT. I got through it.
Then came the shock of nursing school. The first attempt to get into the RN program here in Washington was a fail. I neatly submitted all of my paperwork just to get a "you're not excepted letter"...When I saw this my heart dropped. I knew it had to be a mistake...I had tons of medical hours/experience, that 4.0 gpa, letters of recommendation from my fire chief, boss and co-workers. The next morning I called to find out what happen. Turns out all those big people who sit around and look at these RN program application packets missed the fact that I was a certified CNA (which you have to be to get into the program). The best part is I did my CNA cert at the same damn school...Had someone looked, they would have seen I had my CNA and I should have been accepted then. Whatever. I got in in the next quarter in the fall 2009 after a summer of fun and an outstanding Vegas vaca. I was ready. Bullshit...I was ready up until the point I saw our 5 classes schedule and hit the overload, flip the fuck out mode...I gained 20lbs and lost half my hair. This "venture" made me something I hated. I was stressed out and not happy at all.
Two years later... Gradu-fucking-ation :). I lost the weight, grew some of that damn hair back and felt glad to be done! I had learn to adapt to the bullshit, the unfair teachers, the insane studying schedule and the acceptance of no social life...I made it trough. I look back and am thankful I didn't get accepted the first time, because the class I joined ended up being a great one. I made some friends there that I know I will have for a very long time...As well as some enemies, but they are only enemies for very good reasons.
So here we are 9 months after graduation and I think about all I did to get to this point, all the hardships, the rewards and now the RN job. Don't ever get me wrong in all of this, I am thankful, but I still feel like I am waiting to exhale...I think this will help. Oh and BTW RN school doesn't do shit to prep you for the RN job. When you start the job, it's like doing fucking school all over again...You start from square one. What an incredible, emotional, rough start it's been. I sometimes think if I knew then what I know now I might have stayed an EMT and went to Paramedic school and just sucked up the "on call" shifts and hard weather... But what do they say...? Hindsight is 20/20. So there you have it, here I am and I have a lot to say. Hence the blog eventually, in hopes, book. I feel like there are many lessons to share that they don't tell you in nursing school and if this only turns out to be a blog...So be it, it is my therapy. My free therapy.
