17 August 2013
REGRET
I FEEL LIKE REGRET IS A NEVER ENDING PART OF LIFE. IT'S LIKE AN INFECTION THAT KEEPS MANIFESTING ITSELF TO MY HEART AND TO MY MIND. IT'S LIKE A MONSTER OR A SKELETON YOU TRY AND KEEP DEEP INSIDE. IT CAN WEAR YOU DOWN. IT CAN TAKE OVER YOUR DAY TO DAY. WHEN I WAS 19 I USE TO TELL PEOPLE I DIDN'T REGRET ANYTHING...BECAUSE AT THE TIME BEFORE AND IN THE MOMENT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. IN THE MOMENT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE RIGHT DECISION TO MAKE. WHAT DID I KNOW AT 19 AND HOW DID I KNOW TO MAYBE MAKE THE BETTER DECISION. NOW I AM 30 AND I AM LOOKING BACK AT SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE AND I WOULD HAVE PLAYED THINGS OUT SO DIFFERENTLY. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT KNOWING NOW WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEN. SO YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE BEFORE... LIKE YOU HAVE AT THIS POINT. YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN NOT GO BACK IN TIME AND CHANGE THINGS. IF YOU COULD THERE WOULD BE NO SUCH THING. SO HOW DO YOU FIGHT THE BATTLE AND ACCEPT THE REGRET. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON AND NOT LINGER? HOW DO YOU ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED HAS HAPPENED AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAYBE MAKE IT RIGHT?
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You are right you can not make it better. You do make it a little better by learning from it. That is the whole point of regret and mistakes. It is hard to regret past choices, when at that point in your life what you choose was EXACTLY what you wanted. So how do you regret that? But we never make the right choices all the time. You have changed so much from being 19 Jen. You can not regret, you always hold on to things. Even then when you said you didnt. I know you did. You are so much more aware of others now, you have more direction, have been through more. But let me tell you what is the same since you were 19
Your Passion for everything, your lil drunk quirks, the way you like hot things. Those are the simple things, to me when simple things stay the same...that is the best!! I think also by not being in that situation anymore ....well you did accept it and move on. Or else you would still be there right? I know I talk alot of shit but I hope it helps buttercup
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